Friendships: redeeming your time

Welcome back,

On today’s blog post we’ll be discussing (as the title states) friendships, both personal ones and group ones. It was during a Christian podcast that this topic jumped up to me, and got me to further reevaluate on how I measure my friendships with those around me. I mean it’s something that everyone processes at some point in their life and it’s absolutely normal. At the end of the day, we’re not the same people as we were at the beginning; friends come and go in your life. Now I’m not shouting that you should go and cut everyone out of your life, merely consider the company that you keep around you.

To share more on what the podcast outlined, I decided to bullet point the topics through a kind of overview layout, including the little things he added to explain it.

1.Best Friends; you can’t have 20 best friends as it’s not realistic, you wouldn’t share all of your deepest secrets with all 20. Share them with the one person that you deeply trust to keep it, as come tomorrow, you’ll find that they’ve shared it with someone other that doesn’t know you.

2.Scaffolding; imagine yourself as a building being built and the scaffolding around you are your friends. They’re there to help you build yourself but temporarily – sooner or later you will have to let them go at some point in your journey, in order to stand as a single person.

3.Time; are you redeeming your time with the right people? Do they support you? Do they sacrifice their own time to make sure you are okay? As an individual you should aware of the type of people you surround yourself with. If your ‘friend’ doesn’t root for your success, nor care to check up on you during your lows and highs, then are they really there for you.

4.Love; going off on the scaffolding image, letting go of the people that held you up doesn’t by any means constitute as you turning your back on them. We ain’t out here trying to be cold. It is okay to love but at an distance. Your feelings for them wouldn’t change as they’re the people that stood by you throughout the journey.

5.Group space; what kind of aura does the atmosphere of your friendship group have? If they’re lazy, unmotivated and the kind to suck all your positivity out of the window – you’ll be more than likely to either catch similar traits or lose yourself in it. This is why it is good to have people that’ll motivate you, lift your praises during goal moments and willing to push you to reach your passion(s).

I will try to find the podcast link to add on to the post incase someone wants a listen. Personally, I took notes on it and truly helped me think of my current friendships and how others have been nothing but supportive; with others being that scaffolding that I must love from a distance.

How do you measure the value of your friendships? Do you have more than one person you share your secrets with? Pop a message on the comments section if you’d like to share.

Your Truly,

Melanin Talks x



  1. This really hits home darl! I’ve been in so many situations where I’ve trusted people that, in hindsight, weren’t really my closest friends and found out that they’d spread my business elsewhere, which was heartbreaking! Sometimes I find it difficult to identify if someone in my life is a toxic friend but, when I do recognise it, I do act on it and without regret – you can’t let yourself be dragged down by someone else’s attitude. xx
    Marina Rosie x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Seeing the fake people in your life is never easy, especially when they’ve been around you for so long. It’s great to hear that you’re not as anxious to let go of toxic people now. Stand your ground and be yourself xx


  2. This is a really interesting and relevant post. I have had to go through a phase of just getting rid of friends who doesn’t support me or take more of me than they should be, and I’m glad that you’re talking about it because it is necessary. Self reflection and evaluation are so important that we need to do them pretty often to make sure we are becoming the best versions of ourselves as we can be and that can start with the people we surround ourselves with. Awesome post!
    Alex x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the lovely comment Alex 😊 it’s good to hear that you’ve been cutting people that haven’t truly been there for you as self growth is important. You deserve all the best people around you x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much! It feels so great to get rid of toxic people and your post was so reassuring that I wasn’t being horrible by doing it x

        Liked by 1 person

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