Freedom: date yourself

Hey there,

Welcome back to yet another post on the blog. Today’s topic is on singleness (may make it into a series) and why it isn’t as bad as it sounds. Like for real, being single not only builds up your character, but opens up over a million possibilities in your life. Without you even realising you become the better and confident version of yourself. Being single doesn’t have to be a drag and most specifically non-adventurous. In this post, I’m going to tell you why you should appreciate your time of singleness and how you can use that time efficiently. It’s not everyday doom and gloom, when the British weather already provides that with the rain, during the month of June.

So why has being single gained such a negative view in today’s contemporary society? What do single people really do to pass the time? And why does (by some majorities) see people that have been single for a long time as an unfavourable thing? I will try to answer some of these questions as truthfully as I can and of course any comments which I do make are my own. I don’t expect you to agree with me on every single thing because we’re our own person after all.

So, why is being single a good thing?

Well, you get to use the time of singleness to know yourself and your standards in relationships, for example your love language and what you seek within your current/future partner (you can read more on this post here). What foundation would you like your relationships to stand on? Are you firm with your standards? If you know yourself without a partner, you’re conscious of who you are and what you stand for. Michael Todd said that “when you don’t know you, you won’t pick right because you’ll pick what you THINK you want”. Don’t allow your superficial emotions and media to construct a certain image of relationships for you. No relationship is ever the same as the next one. Saying that, unrealistic expectations that you create can ultimately destroy what could’ve been for you. Choose to learn more about yourself first, before allowing yourself to commit to another person. Be with the person that is right for you, thrives to spend time with you and wholly commits themselves to you. It’s 2019 and we’re not out there to be fooled around when we’re worth much more than that.

“Being single is a choice”

I find that in today’s society there is a misconception about single people and the reasons of why they’re single. This idea that a person is single because nobody wants them. Which is not very true at all and quite rude too. I think it is about time that people understood that being single is a choice and not an obligation. I can say that I’ve personally had years where I go try out the dating space and sometimes I don’t. I’m currently enjoying being single and getting to know myself more, by spending time with me, myself and I. I’m used to shopping by myself but it really was a whole new learning curve in spending some alone time. For instance, I took myself on a date to the cinema to watch the new X-men: Dark Phoenix film, and it was a little awkward at first until I got comfortable. I do believe that millennials of today struggle to be in the state of singleness: probably for far more reasons than I may know myself, but I have found a change in myself the more I got to know who I was.

Take a good use of your time as a single person and find your standard(s). Build an empire. Or even better, start up something that you’ve always wanted to but never had the time to do so. What I’m trying to say is that you should do something other than sit around, scrolling through hashtag couple goals pictures on instagram. It’s very toxic and you’re only delaying your personal progress. I know that your outlook on life will be different and healthier, once you find that deep connection with yourself. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading today’s post as much as I have. I think I will add another segment or two to the theme of singleness. If you have any suggestions on what I could write about, feel free to comment below.

Yours Truly,

Melanin Talks x

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