Being Single: Not Alone


Its been a minute guys, but I’m back with a part 2 of the being single trilogy, which I started roughly a week ago. If you have no idea what I’m referring to, I suggest you head back to my latest on the blog or simply click here. For a quick refresher of what was said: being single is a matter of choice, not an obligation, the idea of being single is often viewed so negatively and there’s nothing wrong with spending time getting to know yourself more. You can be single AND still be happy. It just shows that you’re willing to work on you till the right person pops into your life. Someone that will be able to fit your standards of an ideal partner, because we shouldn’t feel as though we have to settle for anything less. With that little introduction done with…let’s get straight back into the series.

In today’s part of the series, I’ll be talking on how being single doesn’t mean that you’re alone. When looking at the idea of singleness, people automatically (often but not always) assume that you’re lonely. Now I can’t say much for anyone else but personally, it’s one of my pet peeves of assumptions. Being single doesn’t mean that you’re alone, it just means that I choose to spend the company of my own in this period. I have friends. I may not have many but I’ve got plenty of the ones that matter the most to me.

Before we unravel the topic even further, let’s just define the two important key words ‘single’ and ‘alone’. It’ll all make sense believe me. I’m starting like this because I want you to be able to see the two terms as different rather than the same. ‘Single‘ is defined as unmarried or not involved in a stable sexual. Whereas ‘alone‘  is defined as having no one else present, on one’s own. As you can see, one shows that you’re merely not involved in a relationship with anyone and the other shows that you’re without anyone at all, a remote being.

Being single does not mean that you’re alone. Being single means that you’re not within a partnership with another person, but still surrounded by loved ones around you. By choosing to be single, you’re not limiting the interactions that you make with people, just keeping it on a social level. In contemporary culture, singleness has been portrayed to be an statement that reflects loneliness. This is something that goes way back but still has not been able to evolve reflectively in a social setting. The majority of us would have heard of the old school rhyme that goes something like first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a golden carriage. This is the level in which we were socially brought up to know and sing. It wasn’t till I got older that I realised that at no point do they consider the time of singleness where people also do spend their time. If I’m wrong then do feel free to correct me below. We’re quickly presented with the idea of finding someone to marry, to then have a child together and multiply that family setting.

I want to remind people that you can be single and enjoy the time that you have with those around you, without the label of relationship and everything that comes along with it. You’ve got plenty of time to find someone or continue building that relationship, till marriage is on the cards, which then is blessed with a child or two (or maybe more). Don’t be fooled by the term of singleness for it does not mean that you’re alone. It only means that you’re not in position of a stable sexual relationship or unmarried.

Yours Truly,

Melanin Talks x



  1. What a wonderful and truthful post. As a single gal, I used to beat myself up because I wasn’t in a relationship when all my friends were. I thought I was inferior I someway. Which made me unhappy and miserable. I had to school myself and since then, I found this truth that you highlighted in your post.
    Being single: not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 100% true. I’ve been single for a few years now and loving every minute of it. I travel alone. Dine out alone and go on adventures alone and I am never lonely. Too much to see and do. I’m a baby boomer so I have my kids who will join me on my adventures periodically. I’m not opposed to be in a relationship but I’m not looking for one. I’m using my time doing what I want to do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you could share this with me! I think that more people should appreciate their time being single, as you said you’re using the time to do what you want 🙌🏾 it’s good to have that ‘me’ time

      Liked by 1 person

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